Home Sweet Home, Part IV

Homecoming

And I thought I might not cry at our reunion...

The second I caught sight of these little faces waiting at the end of the long corridor, tears started streaming down my face and when I reached them, I held them tight against me and breathed in their sweet scent. Oh, how I had missed them!

This baby girl had literally been awake for 24 hours (aside from 2 one-hour naps) and she still had smiles for everyone.  She was completely charming and mesmerized by her new family.  (I am declining to write about the trip home because it was long and grueling and I don't want to dwell on it).

Elisabeth was immediately in big-sister mode.
Here, Gramma Paulette is holding
 Rosalie and Elisabeth is playing peekaboo.

Auntie Jen

Brothers with their new baby sister

Gramma Teri and the Fabulous Four

Settling In

This first week home has been one of those times when life doesn't quite live up to what is expected. (No complaining, just sharing honestly.) 

Expectation:  We would arrive home Thursday, rest up for a couple of days, and then have a great weekend as a new family of six and proceed to regular life.

Reality:   I came home sick, have left the house once in the past nine days (aside from a trip to Urgent Care and taking Rosalie to the doctor, which I don't count), the jet lag has been horrible, and Rosalie caught my virus and has slept so much that we have hardly seen her.

When I say Rosalie has been sleeping, I mean she has been awake for only 1-2 hours per day. And the first few days she was crying whenever she was awake. Besides intense throat pain, her two front teeth had broken through, and then I finally discovered I was giving her only 1/5 the amount of ibuprofin she could take. My throat hurt so badly I had to take a full dose every six hours or the pain was unbearable. I felt so bad! Poor baby was miserable. We hardly remembered the happy, smiley girl we returned home with, but we are finally starting to see glimpses of her again. 

We have all been disappointed, particularly the kids, to have seen and played with her so little. We have told visitors to not bother coming over because she won't be awake. The past two days she has had two wakeful periods each day that have lasted a bit longer. Although yesterday she went down for a "nap" at 2 and we had to wake her to feed her at 9, and then put her right back to bed for the rest of the night.

I have a few thoughts on Rosalie's seemingly excessive amount of sleep:
* She arrived home with a serious sleep deficit.
* She is sick.
* She is emotionally exhausted (which leads to physical exhaustion) from all the transition in her life.
* We received information about her daily schedule when she was 4 months old and again before we got her at 10 months. I was shocked by how little sleep time she had. As a mom who has had three children pass through those stages, I have a good idea of the general amount of sleep that a baby needs and it is much more than they were reporting she gets. Maybe she is finally able to make her own schedule and is getting the amount she needs to grow and thrive? It's only speculation, but I pray it's true.

I've heard babies grow the most while they sleep. Rosalie is now eating as much as she wants, whenever she wants, so I'm hoping her body is using this time to GROW.  Whatever the reasons (probably a combination of the above), I am thankful she has been able to crash in a peaceful place because she obviously needs it.

As I said, we are gradually seeing more of her, and the kids are very "attentive" anytime she is awake (read: in her face with smiles, rattles, paper airplanes, tickles, etc.) We did start the Williams' Academy back up this week and are looking forward to restored health (Elisabeth has the virus now), upcoming sunny weather, celebrating Easter, and fully integrating Rosalie into the Williams Family.          

Home Sweet Home, Part III

Getting to know Rosie:

After having Rosalie placed in our arms, we spent the rest of the trip getting to know her, trying to figure out her preferences and enjoying her sweet temperment. We struggled with getting her to eat the first few days, which is worrisome in a 12 lb baby. Because she is so young, I thought she would absorb the change and transition seamlessly, and overall she has, but I think her refusing to eat was just a byproduct of all that was going on in her life. I had to step back and realize that, aside from having surgery in a hospital, she had never been outside of her orphanage, not to play, not to look at the sky or the trees, and she had spent most of her life on her back in her crib.  Now here we are, two very strange looking people, galavanting around a city of 10 million people, holding her all the time and showering her with attention. Predictability is comforting and even a change for the better can be difficult. However, each day her eating has improved and she has always slept very soundly. She remains as sweet as the day we got her. 


Everywhere we went, I wore her turned in towards me in my Ergo carrier.  She constantly stared up at my face, gazed into my eyes, and we bonded very quickly. She likes Caleb as well, but if she is upset, she will reach for me, which makes my mama-heart smile.  If Caleb or I are holding her on our laps, she will occasionally look up to see who's got her and then check to see where her other person is.  She loves to smile and she cooed and laughed at all the buses and trees and lights that caught her eye as we walked about.  Every morning I would peek into her crib to get her up and say, "It's still us!"  And so it will be, always.

The People:

The greatest joy, aside from bringing home Rosalie, was getting to know the other families who were in China with us. There were ten  families with our agency, Holt International, but we also met several families from other agencies as well.  Families came from states all over the country, were of varying ages and all had different reasons for adopting. A few were like us, adding children to their families after having biological children, a few had adopted before, and several were becoming parents for the first time.

The dear couple (right) we traveled with the whole two weeks (their son was in the same province as Rosalie) were in their mid 40s and were just realizing their dream of becoming parents.  (Yes, we're eating Papa John's and after two weeks of Chinese food, it was SO good!)  

I must share with you this most inspiring story: Kathy and Skip have five grown children and must be at least 60.  Their grown daughter is adopting from China and Kathy was (in her own words) trying to run her daughter's life by finding a child for her on the waiting children list. She saw two 11 year-old foster brothers who had to be adopted together and she said to Skip on a Friday, "I think we should adopt these boys.  You have until Sunday to decide".  And he agreed. (This couple is hilarious!) The boys have been foster brothers for seven years and both have repaired cleft lip and palate.  However, one of the boy's repair was so poorly done that he can't speak.  These boys will be released to a bleak future at the age of 16 and are nearing the point of becoming un-adoptable. However, they are very attached to their foster mom and Skip and Kathy came to China knowing that the boys may decide at the last minute that they didn't want to return to the U.S. with them.

But that didn't happen. And we got to watch their blossoming relationship for a whole week.  Apparently, 11 year old boys are energetic and squirely in any culture and it delighted our hearts (and we had many chuckles) watching these new parents corral and wrangle these very active and enthusiastic boys who spoke little English, but were so very excited to be beginning a new life.  I can't wait to watch their stories unfold! And I pray that I might know such selflessness as Skip and Kathy are showing at an age where it would be very easy for them to justify not taking this challenge on.                    

The Process:

I have spent just about zero words on the logistics of this process because to me, that is so unimportant  (in the big picture) and I know I only have your attention for so long :-)  Yet, there was paperwork, document signings, paperwork, exchange of funds, passports, paperwork, visas, medical exams and oath taking ceremonies. And all of that while in China!  I won't mention all that occurred in the six months before we were matched with Rosalie and the five months after.  I do want to say that I would use Holt International again in a heartbeat. Based out of Eugene, they have been working in China for 20 years and are very well respected.  They have 25 staff people in China and when a glitch occurred (and there were several -  our daughter not arriving, for instance) they were able to take care of things, using their relationships with government officials and their good reputation to keep things moving smoothly.  They partner with Lotus Travel who took care of all in-country flights, transportation, hotels and sight seeing and it really was like a vacation.            


I can't talk about logistics and not mention Caleb.  He truly allowed me to be the "new mommy", taking care of all paperwork, documents, bottle making (tricky when you can't drink the water - after much trial and error, he discovered the perfect ratio was 1 part boiled water to 3 parts room temperature bottled water), trips to 7-11 for said bottled water and dried sweet potatoes (I must find these in the U.S.), and all other matters of a practical nature.  I am so thankful for him and his servant heart.


And I need not say how worth it it all was.

Those Eyes

That Smile

Every good and perfect gift is from above,

 coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, 

who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

Home Sweet Home, Part II

Rosalie's Forever Family Day: March 4, 2013

Here I am on March 3, when we were supposed to get Rosalie. We had just flown two hours east of Beijing and had 90 minutes to get settled into our hotel, eat lunch and prepare to meet our daughter.

I am packing up the customary gifts for her caregiver and the officials, and packing a diaper bag with any baby essentials we might need. We drove to the Civil Affairs office in Xi'an, the provincial capitol for the province of Shaanxi. Five other American families were meeting their children in Xi'an as well. The children all came from different orphanages in the province. We arrived in a small, crowded room where some people arriving already had their child waiting for them and other people waited as their child was eventually brought in. There was no order at all. In fact it was a bit chaotic with the families, children, and orphanage workers who accompanied the children. Stories were unfolding all around us, but Rosalie didn't come. Our guide finally pulled us aside and said she was not coming.

What?!?  I felt panicked.

He relayed that there had been a "miscommunication" with her orphanage and that she was still a nine hour train ride away. He said the Civil Affairs director was very upset with the orphanage director and everyone was running around trying to figure out what happened and how to get her here. Our guide was most concerned with the delay getting us off schedule because the timeframe for completing paperwork and receiving necessary government documents is very tight and we were scheduled to fly out of the province five days later.  We needed those documents! 

Those concerns didn't cross my mind. I was afraid there was a more serious issue and that they were stalling or being untruthful and that we might not get her at all. Thoughts of returning home without her were flashing through my mind and I could not even fathom what that would feel like. If I could only get assurance that she was coming tomorrow I could handle the disappointment of today and be at peace. We were there for a couple of hours and I used the opportunity to be photographer/videographer for the other families. I really did enjoy being a part of those sweet first moments. By the time we left, our guide had confirmed that Rosalie would be put on an overnight train, arrive at 7am the next day and that we would meet her about 9:30. Undeniably, I was very disappointed but I believed that God had a purpose for it, even if I will never know why.

March 4, Take II

I had a lot of fears that Rosalie wasn't really going to come and felt sick with worry the next morning. When our guide met us at the hotel I ran up to him and said, "Is she here?"  He hadn't heard yet, but soon got a phone call and confirmed that she was. I started crying with relief. This was really going to happen.

When we arrived, the room was as chaotic as the day before because all of the other families had returned to complete paperwork. Rosalie was already there, being held by her caregiver, and bundled in the traditional three layers of quilted clothing. I tearfully ran straight to her. I was prepared that she might be crying or fearful, but she just smiled and cooed and searched our strange faces endlessly. She was very charming and sweet!

   

I will be honest, when I first held Rosalie, I was surprised by how very tiny she was and how little she was doing developmentally. I knew she would be more like a three month old, but I guess I had forgotten what that age is like. I had a moment of fear for her but God quickly reminded me that He had chosen this child for our family and that we would be privileged to nurture her to her potential, whatever that is. I felt an instant peace in that moment and I have ever since. And in my heart, I really believe she is going to thrive and be just fine.

For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well. 

 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139

We spent the rest of that day doing paperwork and we were able to get caught up with the other families by waiving our 24-hour waiting period before officially adopting her. We did this confidently, knowing there was nothing on Earth that could induce us to give her back. Rosalie has her Forever Family.

Home Sweet Home, Part I

It was a surprise to arrive in China and find Blogger blocked. In fact, there are many websites, including Facebook and Wikipedia, that Chinese citizens do not have access to. I am more thankful than ever to be an American. Drinkable water, toilets that aren't "squatty potties" and toilet paper, clean air, room to move and breathe (the cities we were in were Beijing, pop. 22 mil, Xi'an, pop. 10 mil, and Guangzhou, pop. 20 mil, and all had horrible pollution), the opportunity to worship God and practice my faith as I choose, freedom to express ideas and disagree with the government  - these are all things I see are not a given for much of the world.

We did enjoy our trip very much! Aside from returning home with a precious daughter (more about that later), just experiencing China was fascinating and worthwhile. I'm glad we got to see three very distinct and different parts of China. We were definitely ready to be home after 15 days though. I am a girl who needs to see wide-open spaces, who needs to drink in nature and beauty and clean air occasionally. There was none of that to be had where we were.  

The highlights that don't relate to Rosalie (because she was THE highlight):

Beijing:

Climbing to the top of the Great Wall on a rare crystal-clear day

Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City

Being celebrities because we are Americans (these people wanted their picture taken with us) and comical signs:

We felt like we had the green light.

The Tourist Bureau rated these bathrooms in
The Forbidden City 4 stars.  Believe me, 
these were hard to come by!

The ancient city of Xi'an (from where 13 dynasties were ruled):

The Great Goose Pagoda and the intact, 600 year old, 9 mile wall around the city

The Terra Cotta Warriors (210 BC, discovered in 1974)

The best meal of the trip at a very local dumpling restaurant

Guangzhou (near the Eastern Coast, tropical and lush  - it felt like we were on vacation):

Shamian Island - a very small island in the middle of the Pearl River, under 4/5 British control and 1/5 French control for 100 years. The architecture is plantation style, brick with huge shutters on the windows and verandas. There are gorgeous green spaces everywhere. We went here four times because it was so peaceful and lovely (and lots of shops for sourvenier shopping).

Starbucks!

That is a summary of the "tourist" part of our trip.  I will get to the heart of the matter, the Main Event, in my next post.  

Here is a preview:

Don't you just want to eat her up?